Love always, Insomnia

Dear Caitie,

It appears there was an error with the postal system. I only recently received your letter breaking up with me. I have to say though, you are not very good at breaks up. You cannot seem to resist my temptations. I am slightly appalled that you are not thanking me instead of breaking up with me. I mean, think of the countless books you have read thanks to me, useless movies you have watched? What about all of those television shows online you have found? New music? Really I have helped you out immensely culturally.

I will admit there are some downsides to me, but every relationship has it's bumps. I mean, so you have had too much time to look up the negative side effects of your tonsillectomy. (really, you won't bleed out). And there is all that research you did on carpenter ants, I am sure you could have skipped that. And I guess the biggest draw back of all is the being so tired during the day you wonder if you are actually walking around in a dream.

But really, don't those pale in comparison to the quality time we spend together? I just don't see why you dislike me. We are good together. We've been seeing each other for a while now. You might as stay with me, Change is hard.

Loving you for now,

Insomnia.

No more Coffee

No more Coffee. I have been drinking a lot of frozen drinks lately because my throat has hurt too much to eat a lot of solids. Well.. I don't drink caffeine in my regular life. Caffeine is messing with my body, causing my heart to race. Making this all worse. No good, no more coffee. Don't listen to me if I tell you I want coffee.

Lean not on your own understanding

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own

understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He

shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3.5-6



I hate, hate the feeling of being uneasy, restlessness, unfaithful. It has cripled me today. It has completely cripled my thoughts, actions, motives. It makes me sick.



"Trust in he Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." What a powerful statement. How much simpler does God need to put it. Trust him, put your heart in his hands and don't lean on your own understanding. It is so easy to think we know everything, why everything happens, and try to come up with our own reasoning and undertanding for events that happen. Yet we are called on to not lean on our own understanding. God has this view of our whole world, our whole world and yet we are continuely trying to tell him what everything means.



"In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." I need to get rid of these feelings, acknowledge Him, and let him guide my path. That is what I need, I want him to guide my path. Not me, no I am going to lean on him and not my own understanding.



Although there are many different things up in the air in my life right now, I need to put my trust in God, in his plan. I need to put my understanding in his understanding. I can't do this alone.