Love always, Insomnia

Dear Caitie,

It appears there was an error with the postal system. I only recently received your letter breaking up with me. I have to say though, you are not very good at breaks up. You cannot seem to resist my temptations. I am slightly appalled that you are not thanking me instead of breaking up with me. I mean, think of the countless books you have read thanks to me, useless movies you have watched? What about all of those television shows online you have found? New music? Really I have helped you out immensely culturally.

I will admit there are some downsides to me, but every relationship has it's bumps. I mean, so you have had too much time to look up the negative side effects of your tonsillectomy. (really, you won't bleed out). And there is all that research you did on carpenter ants, I am sure you could have skipped that. And I guess the biggest draw back of all is the being so tired during the day you wonder if you are actually walking around in a dream.

But really, don't those pale in comparison to the quality time we spend together? I just don't see why you dislike me. We are good together. We've been seeing each other for a while now. You might as stay with me, Change is hard.

Loving you for now,

Insomnia.